Restrained Mirth

TAM Time

by Tony Ertel

Life is loaded alongside awkward moments. So much therefore that people receive got seen represent to disregard the normal rules of syntax for the sake of to a greater extent than easily sharing their awkward moments. As a rule, writers are warned against outset sentences alongside “that.” In conversation, when “that” does laid out a sentence, it by as well as large refers dorsum to something previously mentioned. In our electrical flow twenty-four lx minutes menses inward age, “that” has locomote the leader of awkward moments. That awkward instant when...

It seems that our conversation format is continually digressing toward the mere telephone commutation of condition updates. And of these updates, I would gauge that 30% to 43% are classified equally awkward moments. I’m amazed that some people tin role equally their lives are seemingly comprised of closer to 99% awkward moments as well as 1% normal living*. But as well as therefore again, I’ve heard some pretty un-awkward moments dramatically stated.

Person: That awkward instant when you lot endeavor to opened upward the door as well as it is locked! 

Me: So as well as therefore what? You grabbed your fundamental as well as unlocked it?

Person: Yeah, but human being was it awkward when I tried to opened upward it similar vii times...

Me: That’s non awkward, that’s stupid. People endeavor to opened upward locked doors all of the time, that’s how you lot tin say if they are locked or not. But then, the people that aren’t stupid, quit trying to opened upward the locked door, or they exactly utilization the fundamental to unlock it.

So I would gauge that people’s lives aren’t ever equally awkward equally they would similar them to endure for the sake of their egotistical Facebook awkwardness. There are however, those situations that are legitimately awkward, funny, as well as worth sharing.

I receive got experienced a few awkward moments inward my ain life, but alone plenty for an occasional weblog post. I receive got institute it funnier to speculate over potential awkward moments as well as receive got had some recent fun inward textversation alongside my blood brother Luke, sharing these musings. Some are legitimately awkward, some are funny, as well as I recollect they are all worth sharing.

So without farther ado, as well as content alongside my normal life total of “that normal instant when...,”** I acquaint you lot alongside a few fancies that my blood brother as well as I institute funny. And for the sake of existence cool as well as consistent alongside my recent texts, I’ll only laid out alongside “TAM” – That Awkward Moment.

TAM 1...
Tony: TAM when you’re brushing your teeth as well as and therefore you lot run across your toothbrush where it ever is as well as you lot realize you’ve been using your screwdriver that you lot left inward the bath when you lot were working on the sink earlier.

Luke: If that don’t “drive” you lot crazy I don’t know what will. 

Tony: I know. That’s “screwed” up! I should telephone telephone MD “Phil-ip” 

TAM 2...
Luke: TAM when you lot realize that you lot receive got filled your dish scrubber alongside honey.***

Tony: Hehehe

TAM 3...
Tony: TAM when you lot realize it’s non “All About the Benjamins” as well as your life is all of a abrupt without purpose.

TAM 4...
Luke: TAM when you lot receive got invested everything you lot receive got into a Hotcakes restaurant, alone to honor that they don’t truly sell that well.

TAM 5...
Tony: TAM when the prodigal boy tells his dad to concur the fattened calf because he’s truly gone vegan.

Tony: Wouldn’t desire to endure in that place when that goes down. Aaawwwwwkwaaaaard... “Uh, howdy dad, yeah... um... I mean, initiatory of all of all, jeez thank you lot for everything, but uh... there’s something I desire to say you lot before you lot start preparing nutrient for the party... So, there’s this novel diet...”

TAM v continued...
Tony: TAM when the manlike somebody bring upward stops the faithful son’s electrical charge most slaughtering the fattened calf alone to say him that there’s been a modify of plans as well as they’re truly going to create upward particular the season’s best algae. And as well as therefore TAM when the boy soundless gets mad, exactly because he’s jealous. And the Father says, “Really? You’re seriously mad most that?”

TAM 6...
Tony: TAM when your friend points out to you lot that it’s “awkward,” non “hawk bird.” But you lot say you lot knew all along as well as defend all that you’ve said: that hawkbird instant when you lot come upward exactly about and all the other birds halt chirping, that hawkbird instant when you lot circle your prey, that hawkbird instant when you lot dig inward your talons, that hawkbird instant when you lot receive got a olfactory organ dive, that hawkbird instant when... Then TAM when you lot friend points out to you lot how creepy those statements receive got been all along as well as that there’s a argue you’re soundless single.

I realize I could tumble out as well as on alongside this. If you’ve enjoyed it at all as well as would similar to run across a 2d installment of TAM Time, allow me know alongside some comments. Otherwise, you lot guessed it, “TAM when you lot cheque your weblog post service as well as there’s alone 1 comment, as well as it’s from your sister: ‘we soundless love you lot Tone... but I’ve decided to supervene upon your sense of humour column alongside a weekly video upload of pigment drying. Thanks for all of your difficult run though. Paint something as well as shipping me a video. I’ll run across if I tin run it inward – autumn colors are bully correct now’.”

*This 1% must endure those rare times when in that place isn’t a wing inward the drinking glass of water, or slumber isn’t riddled alongside bizarre dreams of an anteater-led apocalypse, or the toothpaste doesn’t gustation similar pickles, or... exactly other non-awkward moments (normal moments).
**Normal doesn’t signify boring. It’s a bully life. There sure is an chemical constituent of subjectivity to awkwardness. In fact, someone 1 time tried to convince me that I wasn’t truly that funny (even though she could barely hold from laughing when she was exactly about me), but that I was exactly awkward. “Uh ok. Thanks. I guess.” That’s sort of like, “you’re non truly that smart, you lot exactly know a lot, teach all of the correct answers, as well as you lot article of apparel glasses.”
***This 1 is my personal favorite. That truly would endure the worst, but amazing at the same time. Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 “sticky” situation...

Tony is currently finishing his MBA. He resides alongside his lovely married adult woman inward Cincinnati, Ohio as well as is sort plenty to contribute his humorous perspective inward this regular column, Restrained Mirth.

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